Damn, It Feels Good To Be A Gangsta.
The Judge is out of town for the better part of this week and Judge D. had a murder trial going on downstairs in the big courtroom, so I took advantage of the opportunity to avail myself of some courtroom drama and entertainment observation time and trial practice education. The killing occurred as a result of some sort of activity and the victim was a drug dealer, so of course there was gonna be some good stuff going on.
The boring witnesses testified yesterday. Like the coroner: “Yup, he’s dead. Cause of death is shooting.” I mean, even Fiddy wouldn’t survive 17 gunshots, I don’t think. So I wasn’t too disappointed to have missed out on graphic photographs of a drug-dealer-turned-swiss-cheese.
The more interesting witnesses took the stand today. Of note was a prosecution witness who was also a former drug dealer and good friend of the victim. Now, maybe I’m naive, but it seems like preparing a witness is a key tenet of good trial practice. It doesn’t seem too great to put someone on the stand who (1) testifies in open court that if you come into his “hood” and leave your door unlocked, he will have no qualms about stealing your shit, and (2) admits to pistol-whipping and robbing the unarmed defendant, again with no qualms.
I did, in fact, learn a great deal today. Mostly about the vocabulary and culture of the drug trade. To wit:
Trap (n.): A house (usually rented) where drug transactions take place. While people may “chill” at the trap, they generally do not stay overnight regularly.
Cop deuces (v. phr.): To concede a point or an argument in order to avoid a violent confrontation.
Heat (n.): Gun, firearm. Synonym: piece.
Bring it (v.): To carry a gun. See also: heat.
Slip (v.): To make a mistake, specifically a mistake that makes one susceptible to being robbed or otherwise victimized by crime. For example, leaving one’s car unlocked in the “hood” is a slip that makes robbery of said car fully justified.
Deal (n.): A drug transaction entered into after negotiation between the parties. The “deal” often depends on the parties’ relationship, i.e. whether the parties are strangers to one another, friends, or family. Prices vary accordingly. For instance, while the witness would be willing to sell drugs to the defense attorney for $12, he would charge the prosecutor $20, but a family member would only have to pay $4.
Connection (n.): One who introduces a drug dealer to a supplier or customer; also, one who provides drugs on a wholesale basis to a drug dealer. According to this witness, “You have to plug in a lamp before it turns on. The connection is the plug.” Makes perfect sense to me.
Straight (adj.): Having a lot of money, especially in the form of cash.
Trial practice lesson of the day: It’s always good to speak the language of your witnesses.
