Category Archives: football
A Letter to Pete Carroll
Dear Pete (I hope it’s okay if I call you Pete), I just wanted to let you know that I thoroughly enjoyed watching your over-ranked, overrated, spoiled brat Trojans get beat by the unranked UCLA Bruins this evening. Although it … Continue reading
I Halfway Retract My Previous Statements
So yesterday, my heretofore shitty, unranked football team upset the number 5 team in the nation in a rivalry game everyone expected us to lose. Our highly-touted but slightly disappointing freshman QB came out of the woodwork and threw no … Continue reading
My Football Team (Still) Sucks
%*#(@#(@(#!!!! We lost. Again. That makes us 3-4 in our conference. Granted, it’s a tough conference, but last year we finished the regular season with two losses and proceeded to steamroll over our opponents in the conference championship to secure … Continue reading
Weekend Woes
So it’s Friday, classes are done for the week and I’m left with the weekly dilemma of what to do with myself for the next two and a half days. Our football team is in the shitter having lost the … Continue reading
Please Go Away, Terrell Owens.
The buzz in the news today is that our favorite NFL player attention whore tried — and failed — to overdose on pain killers. Perhaps he felt he couldn’t garner enough press looking pathetic and riding his bike on the … Continue reading
It’s Almost That Time of Year Again
It’s officially almost football season. Yes, my beloved team kicks off against some crappy, non-conference opponent who they are certain to whip soundly a mere THREE WEEKS from today. I’m so excited, I can already smell the barbeque and Brunswick … Continue reading