The Law School Transplant - If you don't find me helpful, hopefully you'll find me at least mildly entertaining.

If you’re just now starting to read about the 21-day challenge, make sure you start at Day 1 to get the full story!

It’s been kind of a long weekend. I spent Friday night and all day today up in Blue Ridge at a board retreat for a non-profit with which I volunteer. The trip was productive, as these things go, but I was decidedly happy to pull back into my own driveway this evening. Even though I was tired from the whirlwind of the last 36 hours or so, it was so nice to roll out my mat for another day of the 21-day challenge.

Yesterday was a busy day, and I was planning to leave for Blue Ridge in mid-afternoon. So even though I didn’t post yesterday, I actually did get up early to do my practice for Day 18. Like Days 4 and 11, this was a practice designed to build stability and alignment, with this particular one focusing on forward bends. Having practiced (almost) every day for the last three weeks, I’ve come to appreciate them more, and have noticed a little bit of an increase in my flexibility. Where I used to be so hyper-focused on my legs and hamstrings, I’ve learned to feel my whole body in the bend, particularly the ways in which it affects my back and neck. Instead of feeling strained in positions like janu sirsasana, I now enjoy the restfulness and work toward the day when I will be able to rest my forehead on my knee.

Since today was the 5th day of the week, the 30-minute practice focused on a challenge pose practice (like Day 5 and Day 12). Today’s challenge pose was urdhva dhanurasana, or Full Wheel, which is what the girl in my fancy little header is doing. This practice was led by Jason Crandell, whose cueing and instruction I really like. The sequence leading up to the challenge pose was really wonderful, with lots of small backbends and hip openers, as well as several standing poses to energize the the quads. Surprisingly, I didn’t even balk when we did Pigeon Pose, which usually sends me into fits. I still can’t get my butt fully on the ground in Pigeon, but I’m learning to enjoy its intensity (though I confess I have never cried while in Pigeon, and honestly, I feel a little bit left out).

We finally got to Full Wheel and I pictured myself lifting effortlessly into the pose – the last peak pose of the challenge! After all – believe it or not – I’ve successfully done Full Wheel many, many times. So there I am on my back, hands at my ears, ready to go. I lift and press up, and… nothing. I can’t do it. I try again. I still can’t. I get my head bent under, and rest on it. I gave a lot of thought to just forcing myself to do it because I know I can, but realized that wrenching myself into the pose was not the way to go. First, I could have really injured myself. Second, forcing a pose is entirely contrary to the idea of accepting whatever abilities and limits you possess at that moment.

So, I collapsed into a frustrated, sweaty pile on the floor. And then the self-criticism began: Was I just tired? Did I fail because it had been a couple months since I’d done Full Wheel? What the hell was wrong with me? I am trying tell myself that it just wasn’t meant to be today, that I could try another day, that I am strong and capable, but these are hard things for me to accept and internalize.

Along those same lines, I read an article in the New York Times the other day that bothered me (and apparently others, too). It provided one anecdote after another about people who had injured themselves by forcing poses and teachers who encouraged such behavior. Y’all, this is not what the yoga I know is all about. Granted, many poses are challenging, sure. But, there is a major difference between pushing yourself to the edge of what is comfortable, and ignoring your body in order to wrench yourself into a pose. The article seemed to gloss over the fact that 1) there are many obtuse and/or poorly trained yoga teachers out there, and 2) there are many students who lack self-awareness, ignore their body, and/or practice yoga for the wrong reasons.

I have had many yoga teachers, but none of them has ever encouraged me to do something unhealthy or injurious. To the contrary, each and every one of them has tried to instill a deep understanding of the need to listen my body and accept its capabilities at any given moment. So, Full Wheel wasn’t going to happen today. Perhaps I will try again soon.

So tell me, are there poses that you can do some days, but not others? What do you do when that happens?

Ready for more? We’re almost done; check out Days 20 and 21!